Syrian Revolution

The Syrian Revolution began on March 15, 2011.  A heartbreaking day that will be forever immortalized in history.  On that day, roughly 200 people gathered in Damascus, Syria to protest the government ruled by Bashar al Assad. Some of the grievances being protested included Internet censorship and the arrest of political prisoners. Some of the protesters from that day were arrested after the protest was broken. Arrests, violence, and threats of violence continued March 16-17, 2011 when more demonstrations popped up in places such as Damascus and Daraa.  On March 18, 2011, the violence escalated as four protesters were shot and killed by Syrian government security forces. Scores of protesters were assaulted and/or arrested. The following day more people were killed and gassed at the funerals of two of the previous day’s victims. As a concession, the Syrian government offered to release some of the prisoners detained prior to the protests on March 15. This concession did nothing to put out the fire of resistance.  Protests grew continually after this. Violence erupted from both sides and escalated into the full blown civil war it is today –six years later.

For those of us who have grown up in America, the behavior exhibited from the Syrian government is something we are unaccustomed to seeing. In our schools, we learned at an early age that we, as (legal) citizens, have rights. The First Amendment of our Constitution states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [Bill of Rights source]” We can safely assume, in the United States, if we peacefully gather in protest — we will not be gassed or killed.  The children and citizens of Syria that have been killed will bring hot tears of rage and horror to my eyes until the day I die. (The whole world could make fun of me for the previous statement and I wouldn’t care.)

This far into a war we often forget who is to blame; who is in the wrong.  Both sides have their opinions. My opinion is that the Syrian government and the governments aiding the Syrian government are in the wrong.  They are the ones who started the violence. Others would argue with me until they were blue in the face. I really don’t care to hear these arguments so save your breath.

I do not support war in any form.  I prefer peaceful resolutions. For as Brandon Bryant states so eloquently in his journal , “On the battlefield there are no sides, just bloodshed. (…) [Quote source]”

Death Tolls in Syria

The White Helmets-Sign the petition, donate, or learn more

Syrian American Medical Society Donation Page

الله، سوريا، حرية

 

Through This Darkness

 

 

Our worst year in review.

Please excuse any ‘foul’ language or anger that may slip out while writing this blog post.

 

2016 has been horrible.

The fall semester ended for me today (started writing 12/13/16).  I took the other half of my VBA final.  I took 7 classes this first semester of computer information systems: programming.  21 credits.  It’s standard practice for this degree plan so I am not the only one who had to do this.  However, this is my blog, so I will just talk about me.  Final grades were posted for all classes and I passed all with an overall 3.14 GPA.  I have been through some shit this semester and this year.  I am going to use this blog for a moment to take the time to confront the things that have happened this year.

Read it or not, it makes no difference on my life.  Some of it may seem TMI but I am at the point that if I don’t at least try to share these things – especially because of all the slander / rumors that have gone on the past few years – I will feel that I have done myself an injustice.  And believe it or not – i haven’t been the one to start any of this.  It has all been sprung on me out of nowhere and from an apparently sick mind who gets his thrills from attacking me when he doesn’t get his way.  I only write truth and although I would hope people read me and enjoy what I write – I do not base my life on it.

Some of you know about my back problems.  I have severe spinal stenosis and degenerative back disease.  I had neck/spinal surgery in 2014.  This has caused problems not only with my back and neck – but also with my shoulders and the use of my arms and hands. (the diseases have caused problems, not the surgery… the surgery helped. It stopped the progression of symptoms/deterioration) Anyway.  I deal with that every day.  There are some times the pain is so great I get nauseous and can barely eat.  And then there are good days.  Or rather, better days. I drop things, I experience numbness in my arms and hands, my shoulders and spine and back have limited movement.  And extreme pain.  I have never been a violent person, but anyone who knows about this condition and how it has affected my body knows that I am unable to physically be violent as well.  I can do my job, simply because I don’t apply for a job unless I know I can do it.  I can take care of myself and my kids. I was able to go to physical therapy for part of the year…so that wasn’t bad.  It helped some, but like the doctor said, my back is in such bad shape – it’s hard to get any relief.  They found my pelvis was tilted (rather strangely in my thoughts), among other things.  I had to stop going shortly after the house was burned down – which I will get to in a moment – but only because I simply did not have time.  I have three kids. At that time, I was assistant manager at the store and that was full time (35 hours).  And a big school schedule.

I lost a child the previous year.  This experience will stay with me more than most others.  I have lost children before, but this was different.  I had a procedure done after my son was born (2008) that sealed my tubes.  When I went in for the last scan, one tube had not sealed all the way, so there was still a very small chance of pregnancy.  I had it done because I was happy with my three wonderful children and my back was getting worse, among other health problems.  During the last couple of months of pregnancy with my son, the pain in my lower back and hips were so bad that I could barely walk and could barely sleep.  I had to sleep sitting up on the couch to ease some of the pain.  Anyway, the loss last year was a horrible experience.  Some bad things were said and done to me while this was going on – on top of the extreme difficulties I was having.  These things I will never forgive or forget.  I have assumed they think it was funny. Well.  I keep a keepsake box of the personal tests and other things from the experience in storage.  I am still experiencing, health wise, a saddening aspect of it.  I would prefer not to have any more children.  My three are a blessing and all I need.  And I will leave it at that.

I had a relative commit suicide.  Or that’s what I heard; I don’t know how he died.  He and I weren’t close, but I knew him.  It was still a blow.

Our house was burned down in May.  It was devastating.  The kids had been at their grandmother’s house and I was in a hotel out of town when the fire happened.  We were out of the house because I had called the property manager and handyman to repair something to the house.  The day of the fire, I left the hotel a little early to check on the house.  I wanted to see if the repair was done so the children and I could move back into the house.  When I pulled up to the house, there were firemen and policemen everywhere. They were putting out a fire.  They said it started in the girls’ room.  There was extensive fire and smoke damage.  We lost over half of our belongings.  The girls lost more of their things.   Their room was decimated.  I had a little money saved, but replacing things lost, moving on the spur of the moment (the house was uninhabitable after the fire), and other related fire costs depleted my meager savings.  I am not broke, per se, but I must budget my finances a little more closely.  I am still, to this day, trying to replace things we lost in the fire.

The same week the fire happened, my boyfriend’s father died.  His father lived in New York, so he had multiple family members come down.  He had several things to attend to concerning his father’s death and he was not able to help me salvage what I could from the fire and I was not able to help him through the process of his father’s death.  We live in separate cities, so the house was mine (and the kids).  He thankfully only had a computer at my house and it was his only loss in the tragedy.

Due to him not being able to help me, I had to ask my (soon to be) ex-husband to help me get mine and the kids’ stuff out…the stuff I could salvage.  We had not been getting along to this point.  He has a bit of an anger problem.  I asked out of desperation because I was physically unable to do all that work, and I had no one else to help me.  One thing led to another, a lesson teaching me that I should not trust someone who has done me wrong so many times…no matter the circumstances – and I had to call the police.  To that point, he had threatened my life and physical harm to me and Richard (bf) and I could not get him to leave the property I was renting.  He ended up lying to the police and some unforgivable things happened.  The matter was soon dropped for his lack of presence and lack of evidence.  I, on the other hand, had (and still have) a video from that day proving his words to be false.  He (and his friends) lies to authorities and other people about me on a regular basis.  This has greatly affected what little life I have in a negative manner.  I have physical proof to prove his words to be false.  It all needs to stop and needs to stop soon.  And I will leave it at that.

He began a new drama with our children in the past couple of months.  I grow weary of this.

He recently told me something devastating about one of the children.  The information was, if true, kept from me.  Unacceptable.  Unforgivable.

I do not write of these things to restart any harsh feelings.  I write about it to ease my mind and try to deal with my own very harsh feelings on the matter.  Lies cannot be held to a higher standard than honesty.  And I seem to be the only one being completely honest.  I have held quite a bit back in these writings but only so I don’t cross the line I myself have made.  Too many lines have been crossed.

Trust does not break itself.

I have had to deal with these things (apologies for scant details but the situations are very intense) and have still managed fairly in my school work.  A few bumps in the school road, but I have passed.  I know that if these tragedies had not happened, and I had not been having to deal with sickness on top of my usual sickness – I could have done better (not that I have done bad).

Another thing from this year is I recently changed jobs.  It’s taking a little getting used to, but will hopefully prove to be a better opportunity for me and the children.  I like the job.  The schedule is very different, but we are adjusting.  It’s basically a graveyard shift so I must sleep when I can during the day.  I am looking for a place in the city I work and go to college, but it will be a couple of months before I can move.  It will make travel expenses less.  I don’t like having to drive too far.  It bothers my back.

That’s all I will write for now..

If any of you still pray – my children and I would appreciate being in your prayers. Thank you.

-Jana C. Dozier

On a positive note, while I still have my Etsy shop for my hobby (www.janasdreams.etsy.com), you can find the items at Flea For All at 6488 Hwy 7 in Bismark, AR.  I am booth V-36 and my items are on sale for 15% off the tagged price for my Christmas sale. Happy Shopping.

http://www.twitter.com/janas_dreams

http://www.facebook.com/janasdreams

 

Stuff

Generally, when i write something – there’s mass belittlement or complete silence. I know myself to be one of the most unliked (albeit unknown) writers of all time & even my casual writings are smeared.
*shrugs* Oh well..
School starts in a couple of weeks-for me and the children. The kids start in a new district. We moved rather quickly when our home was burned down. We like our new home but that trauma has been rather hard on us.
I start college again – this time to finish successfully. It has been a very long time since i have been in college. I, of course, have the Clerical Certificate and 20-some-odd credit hours. The kids and I have a busy two years ahead of us. I will be juggling full time work at the store and full time college course work – and the children have all their stuff and new schools in which to grow accustomed.

Those who actually know me know how I cherish religious texts. There are many I haven’t read and there are many I have forgotten more than some of you will ever claim to know. I have always loved reading about all the different religions. Granted, I don’t know half of what i should know about the religions – but i know the basics. The bible tells us to honor our mother and our father. I hope I am not thinking wrong on this but most texts tell us the same thing. Honor your parents. My father was in the Navy for a little while -years before I was born. He would always tell us Navy stories. All kinds of stories, actually, but I always liked his Navy stories the best. Submarine stories, SEAL stories, and this one stuck with me: He wanted to go into computers but they wouldn’t let him. I don’t remember why and I don’t remember what his training was going to be instead and he didn’t pursue it after his discharge. The clearest memory of it was him telling me the “way to go” was in computers. So be it – quite a while back I decided my major is Computer Information Systems with an Emphasis in Programming. I start working on finishing that in the fall. (love ya dad) .
We need all the luck and prayers we can get, btw.

I’ll update more later on – it’s late and I have had a major headache for at least a week now –

Whatever you’re doing — have fun..

Spring into Joy

Today is the first day of spring break. For almost all children in school, this means feelings of elation. No school for a week!  The beaches in Florida and other spring break faves are filling up fast with high schoolers and college students. Economies are receiving a boost from want based vacation buys. Joy all around!

For many people, the beginning of warmer weather helps bring them out of the yearly winter funk. Lighter moods and more sustainable energy helps to gear up for action packed summers. Plans of swimming, hiking, and camping are just a few things that will abound as summer revs up.

Many parents, including myself, are planning possible activities for their children’s summer vacations. Joy fills our hearts at the thought of spending valuable time with our kids. As already mentioned – camping, hiking, and swimming are just a few things that can be planned. Picnics, bbq picnics, and nature walks are a few more. This is where the internet becomes a blessing. Each city should have a list of free and low cost activities that can be planned. Enjoy your springs and summers-make them memorable and fun.

Today’s song is How You Remind Me by Nickelback

A Few Moments

Life is full of moments; good and bad. We have had a few surprisingly good, cute, and fun moments lately I would like to share. Some of our moments can be decidedly strange, but that’s how my life run is-strange.

We’ve had many snow days lately. School has been out several days and the children have loved it. One day Sara walks through the house to her bedroom and semi-yells “No taxation without representation!” while holding her right arm in the air. She then turns around and walks outside again. (She is 10)

The kids and I like the shops on bath house row. My favorite is the one that used to be romancing the stone. They’ve renamed it. I have yet to remember the new name-but it’s the same store in the same spot. Anyway, one day Sara was spending the night with a friend so me, Holly (14), and Tim (6) went to Hot Springs for groceries. I decided to stop by that store for incense cones and to browse. The store has a nice collection of masks. I have some masks from Susan and have been debating whether or not to add to the collection. Anyway, Holly and I were looking at necklaces when an unfamiliar child ran up to me wearing one of the store’s masks. The mask was an off white color, it covered the boy’s face, and had a long slender nose (kinda like Pinocchio). He made his hands into a clawing gesture and made what I think he thought was a scary sound. I gasped then said, “Oh my goodness- you’re scary!” His mother was nearby and was all grins. He then tore the mask off and pointed at me. “Ha Ha I got you,” he said. I replied, “You did! You got me!” He ran off when I smiled. Holly ignored the whole thing. She decided on one necklace each for her and Sara. Tim decided on a duck call and I got my incense cones. I paid for our stuff and we went grocery shopping. We probably won’t ever see that little boy again.

Music is an important part of my household. Someone is always playing some sort of music. I listen to heavy metal, rock, and classical (for the most part). Holly listens to r&b and rap. Sara listens to anything from country to Taylor Swift.  Tim seems to like heavy metal- but his tastes may change as he gets older. I like slipknot. All the kids could probably sing their songs by now. I don’t let them watch the videos. If any of you have seen a slipknot video you know why. They’re decidedly. ..strange.  Anywho- any time that a slipknot song comes on Sara Mae starts playing the air guitar and meowing like a cat. I jokingly asked her the other day if they were kitties. She laughs and says” yep! They’re just big ol cats!” and walks out the room. She doesn’t actually think they’re cats, but now I get a satisfied chuckle every time I hear one of their songs.

Today is my biological (as opposed to step) mom’s birthday. We don’t ever see her so I am going to take a moment and tell her “Happy Birthday!”.

Those are just a few of our moments lately. I hope they’re a joy to read.

Today’s song is “Rage of Poseidon”  by Apocalyptica.

Ghosts and Graveyards

I am going grave hunting today after D gets the kids. I will update ASAP.

1549-
So my father, Ray, was a Bismark Lion. (Bismark is where I be). My great grandma, Ida, was a Lambert.
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My grandmother – Ray’s mother – was Onetta Sarah Skates Shields Duncan. Her grave is the one I was mainly looking for, but in this adventure I found many family graves and am happy. I haven’t been to Granny Onetta’s grave since her funeral in 1992. She is the other grandmother I named Sara Mae after … I found her and my (step) grandfather, O. Duncan.

My grandmother, Onetta Sarah –
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My grandfather – the one I remember anyway. He was actually my step-grandfather.
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The other pictures I was able to get of my family grave hunting adventure – mostly Lambert and Skates – I will post in my online photo album. If interested or bored, you can find these at http://www.Flickr.com/photos/peanutjcd

1847 photos coming soon